After many days of smoke, waking up in our new apartment (which we’ve named Themyscira) and looking out over the town with all the brick buildings, pretty homes, trees, birds, and clean air coming in the windows… I felt… still. I was going to type “good” or “at home” which would both have fit there accurately as well. However, growing up the way I did, “home” isn’t as strictly defined by the building I live in like with most people so it didn’t feel like the best word choice, and though it was a “good” feeling I wanted to be more precise. I felt still. Not exactly peaceful, but more like a feeling defined by the lack of other feelings. When I analyzed the feeling, as I usually do these days, I figured that what I was feeling was a stillness that had replaced the former constant flow of efforts going into trying to get to a place of stability for us. Before I was always working toward sustainability, always striving to reach the next checkpoint that meant I was measurably closer to this goal. So no matter how many good things were happening, there was always the striving always the grind. A feeling of accomplishment with each step closer, but never feeling safe enough to rest. Not until we are safe. Not until I have a career that will support us. Not until we have our own home. Not until I can provide for us independently. Not just yet… never yet-

Until now ❤

I woke up this morning in OUR apartment. Themyscira is our new home. I LOVE this apartment!! It’s pretty with original wood floors, beautiful bathrooms, a huge walk-in closet, and a big kitchen island! It has pretty views and enough space for a home-gym. It also has a rooftop deck for us to enjoy (which we already do)! It is also ours. The minion and I have only lived in our own place once for about 10 months just before nursing school. It was great, but I was still broke and couldn’t truly sustain it long term (which is why we had to move back in with family when I started the program and had to work less hours). So for 9 years minus 10 months (for the minion) and for 30 years minus 10 months (for me), we have lived with other people. I went from my parents home, to her dad’s home, to my parents home, to her dads home, to my brothers home, to her dads home, to my other brothers home, to my parents home… until now. Themyscira is ours. So we can style it the way we want and make it our home.

Today the minion and I spent the morning at a friends house learning to make homemade huckleberry pancakes and enjoying time with a good friend. We came back home and walked in and there it was, that feeling again. Stillness.

I believe that this will be an entirely new chapter with an entirely new season of growth for us. Themyscira is named after the Island of the Amazonian women that Diana (Wonder Woman) came from. Themyscira was where Diana was raised up into Wonder Woman. This was her home, her training ground, her family life, her genesis, the place her life’s foundation was built. This Island was unseen and untouchable by the outside world around it. It was not like anywhere else in the world, like Diana herself. Though I fancy myself a sort of Wonder Woman, the analogy holds for me more in that this Themyscira will be where my daughter (my Diana) grows up. Our home that is hers while she grows will be where she is raised up into her full self. It will be her training ground, her family life, her genesis, the place where her life’s foundation is built. This will be where we conquer our next challenges, face down our fears, and learn to be strong, brave, and good.

This season feels different.

Prayer and meditation lead me to think that this season holds something special for us. I can feel it inside my mind and soul… something powerful happens next.

Don’t get me wrong, our previous seasons of healing and redemption were powerful in their own way for sure. Rebuilding a foundation of self and soul and life is powerful indeed. But what I am sensing now is a season of power. This is where we learn to run fast and fight hard and live intelligently and love wildly.

And I am so game.

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